This is the last of my nasty Sunday rants, and in it I'm going to explain why I barely have an iota of excitement left for Sony's premier racing game Gran Turismo 5 by detailing out the timeline of rumors and announcements regards its release date – which remains unknown, by the way.

E3 2006: Gran Turismo 5 first unveiled

December 2008: Sony Computer Entertainment Europe's James Armstrong reveals that the game will be out in time for Christmas 2009.

June 2009: Spiking increasing rumors of a delay, Gran Turismo chief Kazunori Yamauchi says: "I want to release it as fast as I can, but GT5 for us, when you talk about its status, it's at a point we can release it any time we want, but we can always keep working on it. It's very important for us to make sure everything is done perfectly and everything is done in detail."

August 2009: A Gamescom pamphlet for Gran Turismo 5 indicates a Q4 2009 release.

September 2009: A month later, Sony Computer Entertainment Japan announces a Japanese release date for the game: March 2010. No Western release date is announced. Meanwhile, the official magazine of the Tokyo Game Show indicates that Gran Turismo 5 is apparently 65% complete.

November 2009: Yamauchi tells Autoweek that Sony will release Gran Turismo 5 "in March in Japan but for other regions, it has not been decided yet." He then points to marketing decisions made by Sony Computer Entertainment America as the reason for the delay of a Western release.

December 2009: One month on, SCEA's Chris Hinojosa-Miranda told Destructoid that the Western release would be around the upcoming summer.

January 2010: Sony kicks off the year with another delay. Gran Turismo 5 moves from a March 2010 release in Japan to "TBA". The release date will be announced soon, says Sony.

May 2010: March has long gone. No release date yet announced in Japan. Series creator Kazunori Yamauchi reveals that the game is now 90% complete – seven months after the TGS magazine disclosed it as 65% complete. By that rate, it should be out soon – hmm? Right? Right?

Don't count on it.

I was a huge fan of Gran Turismo 3, so it pains me to say that the endless line of delays, release date announcements and cancellations that Gran Turismo 5 has suffered just drains me of any enthusiasm for the game. You can throw all the cars, tracks, damage, and money you want at it – I just don’t care anymore. It's been too long. And when it does eventually come out, how many of us that care will be left?

On that sour note, I think my nasty Sunday is over. I'll write something nicer now, honest.

Famitsu recently gave the upcoming Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker a perfect 40 out of 40, the 13th time a game has received this accolade from the renowned Japanese gaming magazine. 13th time it may be, but before 2008 Famitsu had only handed out six. Not only has the nearly 24-year-old publication doubled that count since then, but, as gaming blog Kotaku was quick to point out, Famitsu actually appears in the game as a brand. On top of that, Hirokazu Hamamura, the former Famitsu editor-in-chief and president of the magazine’s publisher, has starred in advertising for the game. Is this corruption in plain sight? Daylight dishonesty?

Famitsu has long been criticized for being bought by the industry, and certainly things like this, along with the many exclusives and the ever-increasing influence the magazine has on sales, do not help.

But is Kotaku right to say that we should no longer trust Famitsu’s review scores? It’s a bold claim to make – although others have made it before. But is it as black and white as the evidence suggests?

The shift towards more perfect scores, as Kevin Gifford pointed out when the same controversy surfaced last year with Monster Hunter Tri’s review, may be a red herring. Electronic Gaming Monthly went through something similar in the 90s, and while it may be commercially driven in full knowledge of how influential the magazine is on sales, a wholesale shift along the spectrum and an easing of strictness does not necessarily indicate corruption, does it? It’s a difficult call, but as long as one remains fair with a shift towards – let’s call it more lenience – I’m not sure there’s a problem.

Unless it means bad games get good scores, of course. Then again, how good the score is that the bad game gets will resurface suspicion – that was certainly the case with The Last Remnant.

Tim Rogers, a Japanese-based journalist who writes for Kotaku and gamesTM amongst others, wrote a post on the selectbutton forum four years ago that paints Famitsu as pandering by awarding high scores to the games its readers want to see get high scores. He wrote:

“Yet Famitsu makes more money off the back cover advertisement than off all the newsstand sales combined (they offer no subscription service). What Famitsu is — and you wouldn't know this unless you've held a heavy issue in your hand on a tired Friday morning — is straightforward (if not entirely honest) PR in a pretty, meaty, high-quality bundle. It's an advertisement feast. If the western concepts of ‘journalistic integrity’ are distorted and twisted within its pages, they're done so very lovingly. Because, you see, that degree of over-thinking really doesn't exist here… The people who read Famitsu are not brainwashed by the contents of the magazine. They take it in, shrug some of it off, and form their own opinions on the fly. Whether they're enlightened about the finer points of its making or not, they are always suspicious of the fact that they can think for themselves. It's a free country, and a free world, et cetera.”

Tim makes a good point, one that reminds me to resist from making any clear cut judgement: I’ve never held a heavy issue of Famitsu in my hand on a tired Friday morning, or any morning for that matter – not for lack of want either as an admitted Japanophile. Maybe Peace Walker is fully deserving of its score. Maybe Famitsu has, in its own odd way, integrity as a simple and enthusiastic purveyor of discussion on the medium for fans of the medium – even if I don’t quite get that.

Then again, I’m not about to title this post “Trust Famitsu’s Review Scores”…

When it comes to integrity in video game journalism, I almost feel like a politician who hasn’t (yet) been caught up in the UK expenses scandal; I apologize for others and solemnly promise that we will try to do better. But I’m not going to make to an impassioned plea for you to believe in my words, those of my colleagues, or anyone else's for that matter – that’s a judgment for you to make.

Although, frankly, right now nothing is more corrupt than British politics, so that’s a win.

If you haven’t heard about it yet, new Pokémon releases HeartGold and SoulSilver have been released bundled with a digital doohickey called the PokéWalker. It’s ostensibly like a cross between a Tamagotchi and a PokéBall, and it’s really tiny – hide-in-your-pocket-and-lose-it-on-the-bus type tiny. Also, did you know that they’re still making Tamagotchis?

Anyway – the PokéWalker is essentially a way to carry and level up Pokémon (up to three as you unlock stuff) around with you while you walk. Using infra-red beams, you can exchange the Pokémon from your DS to the PokéWalker and vice-versa (see picture above). The PokéWalker has an in-built pedometer, so as you walk around with it on your person it counts the number of steps you’ve taken. It then translates the steps you’ve walked into ‘Watts’ which can be used to unlock stuff, things like treasures and other Pokémon to fight against. In truth, I haven’t tried all of its functions yet, so for a full (and likely more accurate) rundown of what it can do click here.

I’ve just enjoyed transferring my Pokémon – usually either my Togetic or my Quilava – on to it and knowing that I’m leveling up my Pokémon on the go whilst externally doing seemingly mature stuff like shopping for a new pair of jeans or drinking a coffee on the go. It’s like my inner five-year-old has been condensed into an ever-so-slightly tacky device that I can take around with me without fear of ridicule – of course, as long as I don’t dare look at it while I’m in public, which probably explains why I haven’t tried out half its functions yet. Nonetheless, with nearly every opportunity I’ve had to use the PokéWalker, even for the briefest of strolls, I’ve taken it. I’m already addicted to it, and it’s become as essential an item to carry as my mobile phone or keys.

I wonder why I’m so self-conscious about checking it in public. I’ve played Pokémon (and more childish games) on my DS in public many times before, but the PokéWalker feels like a step too far. Maybe they should release an adult version like they did for the Harry Potter books so that big kids like me can pretend we’re not. Oh, and by the way, even as I type this out my SudoWoodo sits in my pocket leveling up. Actually, that sounds dodgy enough to have featured in my previous post.

Having skipped on the blatantly-money-grabbing Platinum, like many of you out there I’ve revived my Pokémon addiction with new release HeartGold – both are corny, stupid names but HeartGold seems less corny than SoulSilver, which sounds like a possible name for an emo band.

And it’s fun enough – same old Pokémon really, but with slightly glitzier visuals and a few added gizmos here and there. And the Pokewalker, of course – more on that in another post.

But first, has anyone else spotted the dirty jokes? I know Pokémon games can have some quite quirky Japanese humor, even in the translations, but I don’t remember them bordering on lewd with it in what’s essentially a game for kids. Then again, there was always Brock (pictured above) of the animated series, the spiky-haired embodiment of the hormonal male teenager. He was truly a champion, hitting on just about any girl with a pulse. To say the show bordered on dodgy at points is an understatement; remember the banned episode where Team's Rocket's James actually got boobs? You can't make this stuff up.

Anyway – the dirty jokes in question? Well, when you defeat the third gym leader, Whitney, and her pretty, fashionable female lackeys, if you talk again to the guy at the entrance who gives you advice before the fight, he says, “You won? Great! I was busy admiring the powerful Trainers here.”

Quite subtle, right? Would probably go over a child’s head, right?

But take a quick stroll to the second floor of the Global Terminal and talk to a guy standing next to the Battle Video displays that lets you watch recorded videos of battles. This dude, even in the fairly unrevealing 2.5D pixelated perspective looking pretty shifty as he stands alone in the corner, will complain, “Why? It’s not fair! Why are there only shots of Pokémon? Why aren’t there shots of ladies? I call discrimination!”

Not as subtle, is it? So, apparently there are lecherous voyeurs in the Pokémon world. I guess it's still pretty tame overall, but it is a sign of a series that knows full well that it still has players from its olden days who have grown up since then. There's little jokes playing at the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship between you and your childhood friend, and more than a few hints at other stuff here and there. It's hardly smut, but it's not as innocent as you may think.

Let’s just be thankful the voyeur wasn’t getting a kick from watching videos of the Pokémon…

The Bit.Trip series, Dead Space: Extraction, and Muramasa: The Demon Blade. These are three entries so far in my Wii Can Be Beautiful series, profiling the games that look great on the system despite its comparatively inferior graphical power. The next entry is going to be on the best-looking Wii game of the bunch and my favorite Wii game of all time: the Wii Shop Channel.

The crisp use of white against blue makes for a clean, embracing, exciting background to a whole world of different experiences. The Wii Shop Channel draws inspiration from so many different games, from classic games like Sonic the Hedgehog to newer, exciting ideas like those of, indeed, the Bit.Trip games. There are so many stimulating and varied visual joys; it’s like being a kid in a candy shop, except it’s a video game shop.

What about the Wii Shop Channel’s music? Isn’t it so amazing? I could listen to that jaunty, garish score all day – sometimes I do when I’m bored. And the Mario animation when you win a new game to play is so delightful and not at all annoying the 78^th time you see it.

OK, I’m out, that’s more than enough April Fool’s shenanigans. Apologies, I’ve had my fun now.

Let’s face it: it’s what everyone knows but is too afraid to talk about.

I know celebrated film director James Cameron stole all his ideas from videogames. You know celebrated film director James Cameron stole all his ideas from videogames. Isn’t it about time he bit the bullet and admitted the truth to the world so that we can just put this behind us?

I mean, it doesn’t take a genius to work out that his latest film, Avatar, is just a mash-up of Final Fantasy XIII and The Smurfs. Take away the blue people and you could easily be in Cocoon. Sure, development on Avatar started in 1994, but Final Fantasy XIII is just the rehashing and remixing of ideas from old Final Fantasy games, so you could argue that it started development in 1987. As for The Smurfs, that started life in 1981. The pieces all start to fit together, don’t they?

Then there’s Titanic. What a clever ruse it was to pretend that film was about the fatal voyage of the RMS’ Titanic in 1912. But did you know that the film was initially heavily based upon the completely original 1993 NES game Battleship? It was going to be a huge, grid-based, sprawling epic about sea-based warfare, but unfortunately Cameron spent the film’s entire available budget on the first battleship and couldn’t afford to make any more. So instead his production team just cobbled together a quick-fix iceberg – Titanic was born. Sounds almost too crazy to be true, doesn’t it?

As for Terminator, everyone and his dog worked out that Cameron got all his ideas for that film from the deep, violent, sci-fi classic Tetris. I’m not going to insult your intelligence by explaining how Tetris was a metaphor for the attack of a time-travelling Austrian cyborg. Then a few years later, Terminator came along and not only stole all of its ideas but went and ruined them. Disgraceful, no?

Well, now the silence is broken. Once Cameron admits that he’s a pilfering pilferer, we can all move on and forget the whole sorry incident.

Not to be unfair to the ladies (or you alternative lifestyle gents), also available is this style, guaranteed to bring sweet dreams to all anime-guy fans.You gotta love that this one appears to have something of a "handle".

Ranging in price from around $80 to $110, these saucy pillow covers are available online from CDJapan or Otacute. Not that any of you were planning on ordering one. Ahem.

With that in mind, here is what a live action Street Fighter Alpha 2 would be like using Japanese actors suspended by wires, dressed in goofy costumes as some of Capcom's fighting game poster-boys(and girls), with a sprinkling of Asian comedy slapstick to boot. Don't worry about having to comprehend an ounce of Japanese; humor is a universally understood language.

I have to admit some of those stunts look really dangerous, including the part that used fireworks. (Not in the eyes please!) A nice round of applause for those fine folks, but to be fair it probably still doesn't come close to this guy's attempt to display his inner Street Fighter. (Link)

There are some things in this world that defy explanation.

We cannot know why whales beach themselves.

We cannot know why the doric temple at Segesta was never finished.

And we cannot know why, in the land of Japan, sometimes a cat must wear a cat suit and run a business.

I cannot explain why Sukeban Shachou Rena Wii is the first game I have ever seen that made me consider getting a Wii. But look into the magical love cat's eyes and understand that it is so. There was a circulating rumor that the game only sold 100 copies over its opening week. I think maybe that's a mystery we can consider explained. But mark my words, history will prove that Sukeban Shachou Rena Wii was the greatest party game ever invented. I mean, did you watch that video? Where you're using a Wii Fit board to dodge flying cats? Seriously?

via: Kotaku Australia

Well whatever the motivation is, you can't deny how gallant this picture above is; even if it's just for their Kojima Productions blog site. You can check that out (though you'll have to understand Japanese in order to read it) by hitting the following link.

Kojima Productions Blog Cast